Waaaaazzzzuupppppp ColdCakes!!!

Wow., I think I had Serj Tankian figured all wrong.  Check out his website http://www.electthedead.com

“I don’t think we’re kids anymore …”

Its time to lead the revolt against Verizon Wireless  (… is what I should be posting on twitter right now)

so i frequent coffeeshops and compute sometimes.

sometimes when people get up from their table, i am a “Nosy Ned” and i peek at their computer screen to see what they are working on, or looking at, or whatever.

yesterday, some business dude in a tie is all making phone calls and shit. he gets up from his desk and i see that its youtube and the title of the video is called “street fighter faces of death - kid killed jumping bike.mpeg”

This video is both shockingly and unremittingly funny for those of you who are not averse to this kind of college humor. Honestly I dont know how you can not laugh. I caught this one from ebaumsworld .. be forewarned that you’ll be seeing some dudes naked-ass hiney, but what happens is rip-roaringly funny.

But man, who does this?

By the way, I think Rocket From the Crypt was some corny 80’s metal hair-band. I just thought the title sounded cooler. The kid isn’t immolated or anything, but he might not be walking straight for a week.

I hope you all had a happy July 4th!

Check out this post I found on a Craigslist board:

i KNOW there has to be occult orders in this city. The question is: WHERE?

I’m looking to join a group of like-minded individuals who are interested in practices that aim at creating and manipulating reality. I’m not too concerned with the form of the practice — I’m open-minded.
Thank you for your help.

hmm… I’ll bet he can’t commit the 7 sins … in a fort-night

This game is pretty awesome, but I could only commit 5 of the 7 sins. Think you can top me?

Free Flash GamesandFree Online Games

Rising stress levels can cause seriously inappropriate behavior. 13% of surveyed workers claimed to have personally committed, or have observed co-workers commit, an act that would be described as “desk rage”–angry or destructive outbursts during work time because of the high levels of stress.

Caravan Opinion Research, 2000

• Have you ever been overcome by an act of desk rage?
• Whats the best/worst example of desk outrage you’ve ever witnessed?

Please share your tales

-

toothpastefordinner.com

hey guys - decided to make a homemade action adventure movie (non pornographic) and cast myself as the main character. anyone else wanna be in it?

http://www.eburg.com/~dalmatia/

My friend Lauren happened upon this site while researching something for work. Though I’m totally empathetic towards lost pets and their owners, this woman is just straight up ridiculous. For real just to illustrate the escalating ridiculousity as her tale progresses, let me just give you a random sampling:

1. This is Dulcie.  She was three years old when she was stolen,and is now five

2. Dulcie loved me, my boyfriend, and my eight year old son.

3.  But it took her two years before she would allow my two teenaged boys to pet her.

4. She loved my other dogs and my cats, but did kill some of my chickens.  She was around my son’s pony, liked my birds, and seems to do well around most animals.

5. I don’t think Dulcie is going to adapt to another family or person.  I can’t see her bonding to anyone else.

6. She is not “just a dog”, she is my baby and I want her home.

7. I have had over 1,500 flyers printed up, and they are all over the state of Washington,and now, all over the US and Canada.

8. I cannot give up looking for my dog, anymore than if she were indeed one of my birth children.

I don’t know how many of you are interested in politics, but yesterday there was a primary election in NJ for the upcoming Senatorial race.  The mayor from Morristown has been in the news lately, something about illegals.  Or whatever.  Anyways, he attempted to unseat the incumbent Dem. nominee, and if you click on the below link you will find a picture of what could possibly be the most pathetic campaign headquarters ever.

http://www.nj.com/morristown/index.ssf/2008/06/mayor_c_the_press_never_gave_m.html

My favorite is the guy in the back, the brother of the councilman.  Free beer always draws a crowd.

guy responsible for backstreet boys and nsync gets life sentence!

http://omg.yahoo.com/boy-band-creator-sentenced-to-25-years-in-prison/news/9263?nc

just goes to show you.

As of late, I’ve become more and more offended by the simpler things that younger folk enjoy.  These include dresses and skirts with hemlines above the knee, most halter tops, and all baby jokes.  What really takes the (cold) cake however are totally unnecessary and offensive Halloween costumes.  The worst one I’ve encountered so far, and by a long shot, was a couple costume which included a fully grown adult female dressed as JonBenet Ramsey, and her male-counterpart to be “decked out” as John Mark Karr.  Gross. 

Conan the Raverian

(This is why I need to learn digital video editing)

My Dad received this picture from a friend overseas.  He was making jokes about which lady he would give up drinking for.  Except whenever he tells a joke he likes he ends up laughing so much it’s hard to hear the actual joke.  So all I heard was, “And then I wrote him back, hahaha”which hahaha would you choose hahaha theonestandinghahahaortheonesitting!’” 

what is J. ? ? ?

i’m seeing an emergent trend of people from work ending emails, or ending their parentheticals within emails, with J. or simply, J

eg. Coldcake fans, remember this site is totally suitable for work J

is it some new form of smiley that i am not recognizing? what is it? I really dont understand and i’m afraid i’ll look horribly uncool for not knowing if i have to ask. (not really J.)

roommate1 is getting ready to leave and places 2 Boors Light ™ cans into his backpack.

roommate2 walks in, sees this, and says… “awwwrriiiight!!! road sodas???”

scopin out the google news and i see this headline in the entertainment section on a tmz.com article:

LiLo Gets Ugly

with lindsay lohan’s face. the newz was that she gonna be on ugly betty or some shit but isnt sad when you think about how excited some guy at tmz.com got when he suddenly realized he coined the term “LiLo” as new scandal bait to identify Lindsay Lohanl ? fool knew he’d get a promotion and he prolly did.

a quick post this morning…

i was talking to my moms a couple weeks ago, and she told me how for the last twenty years, every time she receives a fax at work, she’s blown away that someone can put a piece of paper in their fax machine hundreds of miles away, and within minutes it arrives in her office.

that got me thinking about the marvels of digital communication: instant messaging, e-mailing, cold-caking. i realized that i find regular mail MUCH more unbelievable than e-mail. e-mail makes perfect sense to me. however, how the fuck i put something in the postbox and it arrives across the country (or across the world) in a matter of days is beyond me. And they were doing this shit like a hundred years ago! Think about that next time you want to complain about the price of stamps.

Seeing as how coldcakes is the awesomest site in the world, because it is a interactive forum for the greatest minds of this generation, I thought it would be a good place to brainstorm billion dollar business ideas. Check this idea out right here homies… Ninja Demolition Inc.

Check this, we start a demolition company where we tear down old homes, with our own bare handed ninja moves! And, we film the entire thing. Later we place highlights of the demolition on youtube. It’s basically a win win situation. Either we become the most sought after demolition company in the world, or we become super mega ninja stars of the internet.

I got a million of these ideas guys, but I’m just gonna wet your palates with this little diddy.

i’ve been getting e-mails from this dude at work whose run-on sentences are absolutely mind-blowing. Up until today, I’ve been replying to him in the usual fashion, but on the real, my next response is going to lack periods altogether.

Hi Haldamos,

Just checking in with you to see how you wanted to proceed on the quote I sent out to Tom on March the 26th the Pricing on the quote expires tomorrow because our Buy One Get One Free promotion is ending on Wednesday April 30th. I left Tom a couple of voice mails and sent an e mail and I was just hoping to get into contact with you before the end of the month to see how the approval process is going and if there is anything I can do on my end to help speed things along when you get a chance if you could shoot me back an e mail or call me directly and let me know the status of the training proposal and what my next step should be that would be much appreciated I look forward to hearing from you have a great day and talk to you soon.

Barry W&(^e

*******************************************************************************************************************************

Thanks Haldamos, I appreciate your feedback greatly I do hope that A&$Dev can be a resource for you in the future if you need anything else from me to help with the decision making process please let me know and if I can provide anything else from A^#Dev that can help in your evaluation for training options please let me know as well. Please feel free to download as many free demos as you would like to evaluate our training as well and before you do make a decision on training please call me and see if I can’t give you any additional discounts or tell you of any new promotions that we may be running at that time one question for you what is the timeline that your looking to get training in place? And when would you recommend me following up with you?

Barry W&(^e

who is the best white rapper(s) of all time? [ i am excluding myself for conversational, polling purposes ]

1) snow
2) necro
3) eminem
4) beastie boys
5) vanilla ice
6) mike skinner / the streets
7) dude from real mccoy “another night another dream”
everlast / house of pain guy
9) brian austin green
10) k-fed
11) markie mark
12) mc paul barman
13) mc chris [dont know anything about this dude but he’s supposed to be funny]

those are the best i got. any more nominees? dont gimme some underground rochstein no one’s ever heard of. i’m also making a motion to keep this post rooted in hip hop and not bring up like anthony keidis and sugar ray and shit.

If there’s one thing I don’t believe in its cheap mechanical pencils, and i’m taking this opportunity on my lunch break to blog about it.

first of all, even as a former student of engineering and more than one high school drafting class, I’ve never been fond of the mechanical pencil - (I’d rather a good, finely honed #2) - .. but a cheap mechanical pencil, the kind that breaks its tip nearly every time you touch it to paper, well that is enough to get me on my soapbox friends.

Besides breaking tips, another point (no pun intended) that i find disagreeable is that IF the lead is so thin so as to break its tip so often, it is certainly much too thin to serve even the most trivial of daily functions. It is not even fit for scrawling a quick shorthand note off the telephone. Not even fit for doodling.

While no doubt serving some general purpose in the field of drafting, the mass marketing of the high-gauge mechanical pencil to the non-drafting public is a classic coldcake. My suspicion is that with the advent of AutoCAD and other computer aided drafting software, hand-drawings lost favor in the architectural and engineering communities. The thinnest gauge of lead mechanical pencils were among the first to suffer reduced demand, and the manufacturers, faced with an overstock in supply focused on building a new market, thereby foisting their product on an unsuspecting public at a cost that was low enough to justify their being ‘duped’ en masse into buying into these low-grade lead like lemmings for purposes they were never intended.

This is something to think about the next time you find yourself in a Staples, or OfficeMax, scanning up and down the pen and pencil aisle, looking to cop a 10-pack of pencils to get you through the next year or two of whatever it is you use your pencils for. Don’t Be FOOLED! anything 0.5 mm or lighter and you’re literally throwing your money away!

I wonder whether southern dialogue coaches teach people to pronounce (or pronunciate) fire escape by instructing them to say farscape.

wow its great to see so many different people posting over the past few days. today we have a guest writer, received a via email from “established internet writer” Silvio Margarine :

i realize the imagery is one thing but if you say it outloud it sounds so beautiful, just from the forming of the actual sounds…..

the vaginal juices of various Jewesses.

me: hey dude just wondering, do egyptians find the song ‘walk like an egyptian’ offense ?

egyptian dude521: Haha
Not at all

me: they’re down with it

egyptian dude521: They get all excited when they hear it

me: haha

egyptian dude521: They feel like celebs

scott: whats your name man ?
aaron: aaron.
scott: oh ok like erin go braugh?
aaron: no. aaron, like the brother of moses.
scott: (straight faced) don’t say shit like that to me dude.