Where Are The Dogs Humping.com

So I’ve been considering donning a cape for a while, for purposes yet to be disclosed…. in my research in finding my costume, I found these real life superheroes!

Mad interesting news in Jersey lately, as seen by that big cat (who has since been adopted I read). Seems that Jersey’s youts… i mean YOUTHS… kinda make me miss it. Here are some recent stories from the news:

1) Vigilante Ninjas: Two “modern day Ninjas” calling themselves Shinobi Warriors on a quest to rid the area of drug users and drug dealers have been put out of business by police….

2) A Tasty Treat: A young driver was caught with a mouthful of marijuana after being pulled over during a motor vehicle stop …

Big thanks to L-Tang and A-Lap for the informations.

courtesy of The Human Giant

i know been posting a lot of other people’s stuff lately but hey, why not ? this is from “saturday morning breakfast cereal” :

this is “nsfw” if peeps can see your screen and/or you don’t have headphones… found this on nick swardson’s fod page… i think he is kinda funny

courtesy of the Perry Bible Fellowship, my current-favorite web comic

Last week was my birthday and I didn’t feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, “Happy birthday!”, and possibly have a present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone “Happy birthday”.

I thought… well, that’s marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids ate breakfast and didn’t say a word.

So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent.

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I searched google for “the internet” today. I wanted to see what the internet has to say about itself. This was one of those things >

http://www.internetisshit.org/

I propose we invite this (wo)man to coldcakes for a debate with the.mac.data!

The debate can be promoted as: The Internet - shit or ‘the shit’?

Who would like to moderate?

Tangier than bologna, rounder than ham, exoticker than turkey, salami has never gotten its proper due. Which is sad, considering that salami IS THE GREATEST LUNCHMEAT IN THE WORLD! If I seem a little overenthusiastic, it is perhaps because salami has so many detractors. Why? For starters, the name: salami. It sounds stupid, like a reject from the Seven Dwarfs. Sleepy, Grumpy, Salami.

Or like an acronym for something else. SaLAMI: Sandwich Lovers All Make It. That’s a terrible example of what the acronym for salami could be, but I think you get my point.

Also, salami seems to awaken the xenophobia in people. It’s kind of Italian, but kind of New Yorky (Jewish), and it seems like exactly the kind of food that terrorists might enjoy. One could easily imagine a group of bearded cave dwellers gnawing on hunks of salami while plotting the demise of the Great Satan. Of course, one could also easily imagine that same group juggling bowling balls on the moon, for the simple reason that imagining stuff is easy.

(A quick note: I’m not ascribing any superhuman juggling abilities to terrorists. Far from it. If anything, juggling bowling balls on the moon would be considerably easier than here on Earth, due to the moon’s lower gravity. Besides, terrorists probably hate juggling, because juggling is one of our freedoms.)

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props to lunar for sending this link thru and thus giving me hope

The Time Travel Fund

Dude, this guy should publish his articles in the American Journal of Psychology. Peep him describing the roar theories to start dark side of the rainbow

http://www.synchronicityarkive.com/node/18

dont let me turn into this guy?

hot or not?

http://www.cracked.com/article_15118_25-most-ridiculous-band-names-in-rock-history.html

said gov terminator today:

people of california, i promise you this may be way more entertaining [ if possible ] than the fist pump site, because if you cant appreciate the jokes, at least you will learn some good photoshop techniques:

Anyway, one night, they found themselves facing a deadline, with no content. They had long nurtured an idea for a character they thought of as “the Angry Photoshop Guy.” Explained Bledsoe: “We had both been in the agency business so long that after a while we’d seen every kind of person in the advertising world.” One of those stereotypes, he said, was the “insane designer, basically. He has horrible social skills and horrible things going on in his life and the only thing he has going for him is he can out-Photoshop the guy in the cube next to him.”

http://www.abcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijklmnopqrstuvwxyzabcdefghijk.com

BiG-uPZ 2 h.dawg

since our glorious version of the musician post, i’ve been checking out somethingawful.com pretty regularly for inspiration. they have some really cool stuff, like the seder which i linked to also in my 575 post on 420.

this one makes me laugh too.

possible slogan:

c’mon! get your spectacle game together, dog!

http://www.framesdirect.com/framesfc/Randy_Jackson-lamiki-pr-l.html

have any of you seen this footage that surfaced via the new yorker recently?

it is time lapse footage of a dude called Nicholas White, who was stuck in an elevator for 41 hours upon returning to the Macgraw-Hill building after a cigarette break. It’s slightly unsettling but quite beautiful.

Out of Your Mind

I am often researching the internet for leads and over the course of a typical days work I almost always come across a few ‘funnies’ - people, places, and websites that relieve me from the normal humdrum.

so far from this morning - This interesting video i caught on youtube. It’s funniness only became apparent after i realized it was a complete joke. at first i was thinking “how lame is this guy?” because i thought he was actually for real, and taking himself way too seriously. i almost didnt watch the whole video. As it turns out though, i like the effect of setting the expectations low and then slowly delivering a good punchline.

then there was uglybabies.com I have to say i was a bit disappointed with this one though. i found that none of the babies were really that ugly. i think this site falls far short of its true potential. is it that the people with the ugliest babies don’t want to submit their photos? but isnt it true that all babies, even the ugliest ones are cute in the eyes of their own mothers and fathers? perhaps the site should accept stealth submissions from aunts, uncles, the neighbors, friends from church, ..

my conclusion so far is that when you anticipate something lame and it turns into funny, all the more gratifying. but when you anticipate something funny and it winds up lame, its like getting 75 cents for a dollar.

nonetheless, my commendation to the developer of uglybabies, which is after all a pretty nice little niche site.

I am (somewhat) constantly trying to find things to do in my county, and on a search through the personals section on craigslist I came across this NSFW add:

http://newjersey.craigslist.org/cas/643795749.html

K-bag’s reply to my email summed up my suspicions. Just replace “red necks” with “high schoolers,” and imagine a pilot episode for the next coming of age dramedy. You heard it here first:

i feel like this is an “ingenious” trap conceived of by red necks to catch “queers”.
imagine two hick-type guys who, after arguing with each other as to who should write the ad, came to blows and decided that they could write it together.
they sit at a computer and google images of dudes butts in lingerie.
and they write that masterpiece of an ad.

so i apologize for being slightly vulgar yet again, but this is pretty awesome.

check out the link for dick jokes using comparisons to musicians:

http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/compare-genitals-musicians.php

e.g

“My penis is like Nine Inch Nails. It’s occasionally impressive but nobody cares about it 99 percent of the time.”

“My penis is like heavy metal, it only appeals to fat chicks.”

“My penis is like Henry Rollins, the veins pop out in his neck when he gets excited.”

I have listed for your reading pleasure my top three Onion articles, in no particular order. The pictures, and their concomitant captions, are particularly hilarious.

Enjoi:

1. Entire Fourth-Grade Hates Jeremy Halcote

2. Meth Addicts Demand Government Address Nation’s Growing Spider Menace

3. Zombie Nutritionist Recommends All-Brain Diet

i think it may have been jonny rad who showed this to me in college 20 years ago… i was glad to find out that its still on the nets! i think its still amazing after all these yrs

when reggie watts performed on the superdeluxe stage [to those not in the know: superdeluxe.com is the online home of my funny friends babycakes and the professor brothers] at a free sxsw show i saw, my life changed in a good way (as it did when i watched the videos you’ll find in the other 2 links)

how did this become #1 hit on google from the query ‘going green’

http://www.google.com/search?hl=en&q=going+green

haldamos

I don’t know if any of you have seen this, but when you get on the Turnpike (North) at Exit 9 and turn to your right, you’ll see a old, rusty ferry just chilling on the Raritan.  I never bothered investigating or trespassing, and NJ.com just announced today that the ferry is going to be taken down.

http://www.nj.com/news/ledger/jersey/index.ssf?/base/news-10/120823413660940.xml&coll=1

Apparently the dude who bought it wanted to start a floating restaurant, but didn’t find out until after purchasing it that it would cost significantly more to build on the water than it would be on the land.  He then decided to tow the ferry up the Raritan (during high tides only) to its current resting spot in, no joke, No Name Creek.  He has incurred a number of expenses ($1,000 annual licensing fee) keeping it in its state of gradual disrepair since the 1970s, and even now has to spend $4,000 to build a fence to keep people out while it is taken down.   His license was finally denied last year, although he did get in back in March when he promised to take it down. 

Moral of the story:

We should have gone out there in ‘07, before the fence, when we still had a chance.